Fight Poison with Poison (Chinese pinyin: yi3 du2 gong1 du2)
This is a Chinese idiom which literally means combat poison with poison. Evil must be driven out by evil. The principle is often used in Chinese’s medicine. I used this principle to handle the following condition:
· Unable to enjoy Sunday because Monday is a working day.
· Fear of going to work every day
· Unable to function at work
The three conditions above caused me to be miserable most of the time. I have tried not to worry, but it doesn’t work. I tried to think positive, but the positivity will dissipate in a short while. I tried to be mindful, and it works for a while, and then the “dark” feeling returned. I tried again and again and again until I got so tired and my energy totally drained off.
I felt powerless in my life. That is when I decided I need to get back the power of living. How do I get that power? It lies within the capacity of making decision and takes responsibility of it. The outcome of the decision making must be in tune with reality, otherwise; we would feel defeated and miserable again. Take the example that I decided I need to think positive, but it failed. So you did not achieve what you want. You lose your power. It is easy to say, “Think positive, snap out of it.” However, if you are depressed and having anxiety, you will know what I mean, that it is easier to say than done. Look at the books written on positive thinking, more and more is produced each time. If only positive thinking can work easily, we don’t need tonnes of it to be at the book shop.
The same logic extended to the decision of not to worry. If it works, why people continue to be depressed and anxious? Why day in and day out, patients are crying out of their condition to their therapist or doctor?
It must be a winnable decision. You know your mind will continue to cause you miserable. Make a decision that you want your mind to make it worst. Make it as terrible as it can be. Mind you, you are already at the condition that your mind is making you worst. And you know; you are fighting a losing battle because you cannot reverse it. The winning came when you got what you want by making your thoughts and emotion becoming worst. So what come after it was at its worst? It cannot get worst anymore. Then the mind became confused. It’s supposed to defeat you, but you are winning because it was your decision to make it worst. Because you took the courage to make that decision and got what you want, you actually realise you are more powerful than your mind. Living with power is better than living in defeat. Your mind will be thinking no matter how worst it is doing to you; it has lost the power because you have won.
So you challenge your mind…”Come on. It ain’t so bad. Is that all you got? Make me worst. Cripple me. Knock me down. Why are you stopping?” It isn’t about how much you want to fight the pain. It’s about how much you can take the pain and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Fight poison with poison was proven in Chinese’s medicine in the physical healing. So fight your miserable mind with miserable thought. Something like what I have learnt in hypnotherapy, which is known as systematic desensitisation. Feel the fear with an increased intensity. Depression or anxious mind is always at the negative side and by making a “right” decision to make the outcome even more negative until it cannot be negative anymore, you are winning…you got your power back.
I know this is an anti-thesis in the field of psychology. However, if you are losing every day, it does not help either. As a result of this fighting “poison with poison,” I managed a breakthrough in my journey through my Sunday. I managed to get back to my swimming after months. And you know what? I did something unthinkable ….I even managed to get out of my house and walk in the park for two hours in the late afternoon…the sweat and the nature intrigues me!! This is something that I never imagine I could do especially on Sunday where my mood is at its worst. I end my night with a lovely dinner…again an adventure…going to place that is unknown to me and tries it out. It takes a while to search through the right place to eat, and the search was fascinating.
It also eases my mood of taking every step to get to work each day. I was able to take most of the unhappiness in my workplace in a better perspective and make me survive. Do I still have fear of the above three issues that I am facing? Yes, but I would say it is a “fighter” fear. This fear happened to almost every fighter such as the boxer before they enter the ring. However, they can handle it, so do you and I too!
Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth.But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody!Cowards do that and that ain’t you!You’re better than that!Until you start believing in yourself, ya ain’t gonna have a life.