Depression itself is a processs and if I were to talk about it, I do not know where to begin in fact. But perhaps, the information that would be helpful for the public to understand our situation is to speak out our mind when we are under the rumination or cycle of depression. When my depression attacks, everything feels like a whirlwind or a whirlpool. Everything seems so foggy and cloudy. The mind wouldn’t rest and it keep on circulate on incidents, people and information that brings you down.
It’s tough to get out of it and in fact you see no way out. Note, it is not of our desire to get into this whirlpool, we just somehow got sucked into it, and struggle our way out. We definitely know that we need to get out of it and desire so. But the rumination itself seems so helpless, hopeless, and directionless.
Asking us to think or analyze is literally hard I recall vividly, during one of my attacks, I know my mind is screwing me up badly, and I need to rest for I had not slept for more than 4 hours in 3 days. But I couldn’t go to sleep and stay on bed, I tried to engage in activities I used to enjoy but I couldn’t seem to enjoy anything. To make it worst, I couldn’t sit still, my mind is restless though I am worn out. I keep climb up and down the stairs just to remove the agitation and it seems not to go away.
I really hope the society would provide more support and empathy towards people who are struggling. It is not our desire to be in this situation or to remain in it. Sometimes, it’s due to our incapability to see our way out. With a foggy mind, one couldn’t expect much nor think much. Yet, through time, we learn how to manage ourselves and learn techniques to deal with our mind. So please, do be patient with us, and thank you for your support.