In my everyday life, seems nothing wrong with me. I have a family who supports me throughout in any way / thing I decided to do. I belong to a religious community which remind me how grateful I am for being in this world and knowing God. My friends who are cheering for me, know me for who I really am.
Happiness attacks me every time when I think about it. Most of the people considered me as having a strong personality, but deep inside I feel nothing is within me. I may look like a smart person due to having eye glasses (scenario in my surroundings) but I am not that kind smart person.
In reality, I’m not good in English, Mathematics and many more things. I am a short chubby girl. I have a lot of scars. Sigh. I often don’t understand myself. I know what I want, but I don’t know how doing it. I am very shy ever since when I was a child. I tend not to speak at all, for no one will know that I am here. I don’t want to be the center of attraction (in the outside, I am loudly person). It stresses me a lot.
When everything is wrong and I want to open / discuss it , people don’t pay much attention as they think I can handle all the shortcomings. Perhaps because I graduated in BS Psychology and thinking that I don’t need help or I don’t need anyone. Maybe, that’s one of disadvantages of being a Psychology major / student.
Until one day, I decided to face all the negatives inside of me. I started with reading bible, dwelling on positive quotes/messages/stories, doing recreational activities (sports, music, anything that could help me to be better). Even though people don’t really understand me, I endured it. Endured it until you realized that you don’t need someone just to feel you are special or valued. All you need is your self. Your entire self.
Its been a great opportunity for people like me to share my story. I may not have an anxiety disorder or phobia or in worst situation, but I know, one time in my life, I felt it. I hope people with anxiety disorder or phobia will find their way to overcome it.
To My Psychology, thank you for doing this kind of project. Praying that society will be fully aware about the difficulties of a person who is having mental illness or phobias. I am currently preparing for my board exam as registered Psychometrician. Your page help me a lot in many ways. To God be the Glory!